24.10.24
Finally, I get to the laptop at 10.37!
You’d be surprised that this is the latest that I have started work this week – but also the most productive I have felt.
Since giving blood on Sunday afternoon, I have experienced an onslaught of fatigue, a wash of emotions, and a crippling headache that came and went like that friend who keeps forgetting things at your house long after your wine and cheese catch up a few weekends ago.
Today was the first day in a week that I had that precious resource us EDS-ers would probably trade in a kidney or our first-born child for: energy.
I got up, took my supplements, got dressed, unloaded the dishwasher, put on the laundry, changed the sheets, and took myself for a hot chocolate at our nearby café and took the bins out before the bin men arrive (go me!).
These are the tasks that I have delayed doing for the past 5 days because I simply did not have the energy. Today however, my spoons were up and tasks needed doing! (It is also the day our cleaner, Louis, comes and at the ripe age of 29 I have to say it is my favourite day of the week. He is, second to my fiancé, my favourite man on the planet and I get so excited to see him).
I also think this is the last time I will give blood. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve donated 15 times in my life but what it has done has lifted up a mirror to my condition. For the last 4 donations covering the last three years I have truly struggled recovering.
The fatigue sits in. The denial comes next.
One year I went out partying after giving blood and promptly blacked out towards the end of the evening.
One year I tried to perform on stage at a Christmas cabaret and promptly passed out mid song.
This year, I just couldn’t do anything and I have cried for three days.
It was a stark reminder that every year parts of my life are being pulled away like a jumper unravelling as you tug at a loose thread. If I’m not careful, I will see myself losing so much of what I once had.
First it was morning jogs, then tennis, then studio barre classes, then field games with my friends, now giving blood. I’m furious because that’s the easiest way to do good and now I’ve got to give that up too? That’s when the emotions really hit. Stubborn old me dug her heels in and denied she even has a condition that she needs to make adjustments for. It’s all in my head. I just want to feel better.
No, this is not the way to think. These thoughts are temporary and embracing your condition as a part of yourself genuinely IS the only way to move forward.
With that attitude I believe giving up giving blood will be temporary. I have 10 donations left to get to my silver medal and so long as I can manage my recovery or even improve my condition, I will be able to continue doing the things that I love.
24.10.24
Finally, I get to the laptop at 10.37!
You’d be surprised that this is the latest that I have started work this week – but also the most productive I have felt.
Since giving blood on Sunday afternoon, I have experienced an onslaught of fatigue, a wash of emotions, and a crippling headache that came and went like that friend who keeps forgetting things at your house long after your wine and cheese catch up a few weekends ago.
Today was the first day in a week that I had that precious resource us EDS-ers would probably trade in a kidney or our first-born child for: energy.
I got up, took my supplements, got dressed, unloaded the dishwasher, put on the laundry, changed the sheets, and took myself for a hot chocolate at our nearby café and took the bins out before the bin men arrive (go me!).
These are the tasks that I have delayed doing for the past 5 days because I simply did not have the energy. Today however, my spoons were up and tasks needed doing! (It is also the day our cleaner, Louis, comes and at the ripe age of 29 I have to say it is my favourite day of the week. He is, second to my fiancé, my favourite man on the planet and I get so excited to see him).
I also think this is the last time I will give blood. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve donated 15 times in my life but what it has done has lifted up a mirror to my condition. For the last 4 donations covering the last three years I have truly struggled recovering.
The fatigue sits in. The denial comes next.
One year I went out partying after giving blood and promptly blacked out towards the end of the evening.
One year I tried to perform on stage at a Christmas cabaret and promptly passed out mid song.
This year, I just couldn’t do anything and I have cried for three days.
It was a stark reminder that every year parts of my life are being pulled away like a jumper unravelling as you tug at a loose thread. If I’m not careful, I will see myself losing so much of what I once had.
First it was morning jogs, then tennis, then studio barre classes, then field games with my friends, now giving blood. I’m furious because that’s the easiest way to do good and now I’ve got to give that up too? That’s when the emotions really hit. Stubborn old me dug her heels in and denied she even has a condition that she needs to make adjustments for. It’s all in my head. I just want to feel better.
No, this is not the way to think. These thoughts are temporary and embracing your condition as a part of yourself genuinely IS the only way to move forward.
With that attitude I believe giving up giving blood will be temporary. I have 10 donations left to get to my silver medal and so long as I can manage my recovery or even improve my condition, I will be able to continue doing the things that I love.